New Year’s Nuggets
New Year, Nothing New
This New Year has me thinking “Everything Old Is New Again”, Or “There is nothing new under the sun” depending on your point of reference.
A few examples:
At least once a week we have a phone crisis:
Dad, walker clumping down the hall, arrives with his phone dangling from his hand. He holds it out to me looking mournful.
Dad: My Smart Phone is all goofed up (he never calls it his phone, it is “his smart phone.”).
Me: What’s wrong with it?
Dad: I don’t know. I’ve tried everything. Now Siri won’t even speak to me!
Also, I think he is probably the only person I know who routinely thanks Siri for her help. You’d think she’d be more cooperative.
I’m dressing Mom in the other room. I hear Dad talking to Siri.
Dad: Siri, What time is the Husky game on?
Siri: The Husky game. Do you mean the University of Connecticut Huskies, Northeastern University Huskies, The Northern Illinois Huskies or the University of Washington Huskies?
Dad: (sighing) The University of Washington
Siri: Do you mean the University of Washington Husky basketball team or the football team?
Siri: The University of Washington football game starts at 1:00 PM today.
Dad: Thank you.
If not the phone, it is the TV, but this is a daily occurrence.
Dad: I can’t find the Husky Bowl Game on the TV.
Me: You just had it on the screen.
Dad: I did? I didn’t see it. I couldn’t hear it.
Me: You were scrolling past it. The TV is on mute. That’s why you didn’t hear it.
He hands me the controller, I set the game to record, turn it on, and hand back the controller after un-muting it.
Dad: I don’t know how you do that. How can I possibly remember all that? What if I lose it again?
Me: It’s recording. You can always start it over if you get lost. You can’t mess it up. Just call me if you have a problem.
Dad: OK. I don’t know why it’s so complicated.
One problem is, we’re all old!
I’m old too.
This morning I gave Mom and Dad a quiz called, “How to tell if you’re older than dirt.” As it turned out, I knew all the answers for questions from the 40’s and 50’s. Mom and Dad knew most. http://www.suddenlysenior.com/trivia100502.html
Me: Wow! I guess I’m older than dirt. I know all of these.
Mom: No, we’re older than dirt. You’re one day older than dirt.
Me: Hmmm. That wasn’t on the quiz.
The Menu Issue
Mom’s appetite is decreasing. She often doesn’t eat dinner anymore, so I ask if she’s eating before I set the table.
Me: Mom are you eating dinner tonight?
Mom: Well, I don’t know. What are we having?
Me: Does it make matter?
Mom: It does if it’s something I like.
If this is the local diner, may I order al-la-carte?
Me: Mom what would you like for breakfast?
Mom: What is there?
Me: Well, you could have cereal or oatmeal. We also have muffins and eggs, or eggnog and orange juice.
Mom: Well, then I’ll have oatmeal and a muffin with eggnog and orange juice. Don’t we have bananas?
Me: Mom we’re having left-overs tonight. Do you want spaghetti and meatballs, chicken tenders or chicken rice casserole?
Mom: I’ll have meatballs, no spaghetti, and chicken with no rice. Wait, what were my choices again? Is there dessert?
Mom: I guess no one is coming for Christmas this year.
Me: Well, it’s not our year for Christmas with (older son’s) family but (younger son and wife) are coming.
Mom: They are? What day are they coming?
Me: I’m not sure yet.
Mom: Well, I hope it’s soon. I suppose we won’t see the others and the great-grandchildren.
Me: Well, they usually come for at least a day or two near New Year’s when they don’t come for Christmas.
Mom: Well, they probably won’t this year. Do you think they’re coming?
Me: I don’t know. I’ll try to ask them.
Mom: Don’t bother them. They’re too busy.
(I actually thought this would be the first year they didn’t come. I texted them but got no answer for over a week. This morning I got a text from elder son.
Son: Mom, we’re coming up tomorrow after Sunday-School because we’re both teaching. I was supposed to tell you a week ago. I’m getting the stink-eye from my wife right now.
Me: (thinking) As I say, some things never change. (What I actually said), Don’t expect pie.
Happy New Year and Have a good care giving day.